One of the most important relationships a daughter ever has is that with her mother. It’s a special bond that spans the years based on trust, love and friendship…two hearts beating as one. In my case too my mom means the world to me. She is the one I trust completely. She is the one I can share everything with… all my emotions, my secrets, my mood swings, my anger, my laughter, my love and fears too. Mamma understands me the best and even if we may have difference of opinions and I may argue or fight with her sometimes, she never loses her patience with me. She is a strong-headed woman and so am I but I know I can get away with bullying her only because she allows me to. She dotes on me and spoils me completely with her love and care. All through our growing years, Mamma played the role of a father and a mother, with dad always busy with work, making an earning for his family. She made sure that we were disciplined & well mannered and we learnt the value of life as well as the luxuries that we were blessed with.
Mamma (the daughter of J Om Prakash ji, the Indian film director and producer) had always lived a very luxurious life. However, immediately after her marriage to my Papa, she had to make adjustments – living in a joint family with in-laws in a smaller house, but she managed it all with a smile on her face, learning to make ends meet without complaints as she wanted my Dad to achieve his dreams and make it big. She encouraged and supported him in every way through her love and patience.
During growing years I have been a keen observer of everything my Mom did, trying to be like her in all aspects be it cooking or taking care of others or even dressing up like her. Mamma has an impeccable and classy sense of style. She is always dressed elegantly whether it is a simple outfit or a heavy one, whether at home or stepping out. I love her choice of jewellery, her matching footwear and bags, her subtle make-up and her hairstyle, it influenced me and I picked up her dressing style too. We are more like sisters and share an easy bond with each other. I would always seek Mom’s advice in all I did in all areas of life be it choosing clothes, to work, to going out shopping etc… if I was ever stuck in making a choice I would instinctively ask her opinion or seek her help to choose. Mamma seeks my advice at times as well, while dressing up or if I give her my opinion, she listens to it without any bias. She is always open to my healthy criticism. In fact when I was married and had moved to my in-laws house, I use to miss Mom the most then and that made me independent to make my own choices.
It’s not like Mamma is a soft hearted easy to handle person only. She can be as strict as she is loving and kind. When she means business then she really is very serious about getting her way and then nobody can try their smart act with her. Rules have been strict and one had to adhere them no matter what the age. When we get shouted for something, we get angry and retaliate without realising the concern and pain of a mother. Its only when we become mothers we know what she must have gone through. It was mamma’s patience and mediating trait that kept the family to work around the arguments amicably and made us siblings down to earth, non-spoilt human beings compassionate and level headed always.
I have seen Mamma stress during the times I have been ill and in the hospital. While Dad was around during my treatments, Mom ensured she was always with me no matter what, all through my stay in the hospital making sure I was comfortable. She would never leave my side, not even go home, in case I needed anything when she was away. I have seen her sleep on the hospital sofas without ever complaining. Even at home she looked after my needs and me regardless of the presence of a nurse. She would see that my medicines were given on time and my food was as per the doctor’s instructions and she would sit around me for hours on end to keep me in positive and happy zone. She would stay back home and spend time with me and we would end up cracking jokes. She has seen me fall ill so many times but each time she has only given me strength to wade through it all.
There also came a day that shook me up. The day I realised how unpredictable life is and why we should never take our loved ones for granted. One night my parents had stepped out for Dinner and I got a call from Papa telling us that our mom had complained of a slight chest pain and she had to be hospitalised and this took me by surprise because Mamma was always the health enthusiast. I remember the numbness of my hands and the trembling of my body upon hearing this. I immediately told this to Duggu and we both rushed to the hospital. It was a shock to see my healthy, active, ever smiling Mamma lying there on a hospital bed looking weak, tired and lifeless. Thank God for the timely medical attention and immediate angioplasty that a calamity was prevented… the very mention of this incident and the thought of losing her gives me goose bumps and bring tears to my eyes, till date. We take our mothers for granted and when life jolts us, we realise their value. I have seen the child in her who loves attention at times from her children and brightens up when me or my brother or my dad pampers her. She loves it when her grandchildren shower her with unconditional love. It is because of her love and efforts that we are such a close-knit family.
My Mom is my mentor. She is my woman of strength. Through all problems in life she has sailed and helped us sail through too, with dignity. As a mother, I now understand that she would have probably died 1000 deaths at the fear of losing her child, through the two death defying illnesses. It was not just my health issues though. She was our pillar of strength when Dad was shot and hospitalised, she was also the one who first got to know about Hrithik’s brain clot and the need for his immediate surgery. She did not lose faith and knew that this too shall pass. Throughout his time at the hospital mom stayed strong always pretending that all was good and that she was ok and not once did she show her emotions to any of us.
I remember that Mamma was very happy when I had started working on films with Papa. She saw it as a way to strengthen my bond with my Dad. She would wait for me to be back home to talk to me about my day’s work or adventures on sets or to know how my day went through. But those days I use to be back home tired as tired can be and go straight to my room, not wanting to talk to her or anyone else. I would need my me time, my quiet room to unwind and if she even called me, I would snap at her and reply in harsh tone asking her to leave me alone as I was tired. She would get upset with my behaviour but Mom’s anger lasts only for a few seconds. Mamma, I am sorry for all those times I was mad at you and all the times that I must have hurt you unintentionally. I want you to know that I am so proud to be your daughter. Your practical approach in life has taught me to handle all situations with my inner strength and never give up no matter what the circumstance is, like you. Thank you for all your patience in handling me.
Have you ever tried pampering your mom? Do you know what gives her joy? Do you know her likes and dislikes? It is time to take her out for a treat or get her some flowers. Bring a smile on her face. Show her you love her and she is your world.
Next chapter out on May 16, 2018