Early this year (27th January 2018, to be precise), I was diagnosed with severe (almost near fatal) kidney infection (Emphysematous Pyelonephritis) which meant hospitalization immediately. But my consulting physician Dr. Abhishek Bhargav, who knows my medical history, was absolutely against me being hospitalized because he feared that it would put me through depression as it has been the case with my past illnesses. He felt that while treating my ailment at home would no doubt be a difficult task, but tackling my depression would have been extremely tough. Hence, he left no stone unturned to turn my bedroom into an ICU with a round the clock nurse on duty.
While being confined to bed for almost a month, I also developed a bad neck spasm which made reading, watching TV or any source of entertainment difficult. I was absolutely bored of being on social network and visits of friends & family and continuous talking would drain me out because of the illness. Not knowing what to do with all the free time in hand forced me to start thinking. Thinking about all that I had gone through in life. All the choices I had made or not, due to the circumstances at that point, and about all the love, support and heartbreaks too. I realized I was quiet blessed to have had a lot of people who contributed to my learnings and inner strength.
I started writing because it allows me to express and is therapeutic for me. Through my blog, I want to make an effort to reach out to people who may need a spark of light, a dot of hope, a speck of faith to find their strength to move out of the dark and to know that the universe always has our back and God never lets us down. There is positivity in even the weakest of our moments and everything happens for a reason that is for our highest good. I also want to let people know that you are not alone; everyone is going through the ups and downs in life each day.
I have always taken pride in being born into a beautiful family that has been there to guide, protect and support me through every phase of my life. But my confidence did not come from the comfort of the riches my family provided, it was on the contrary my learnings through the hardships that I chose to defeat, which made me recognize my inner strength that even I didn’t know I possessed. It gave me the confidence to let go, handle every situation life had to offer and move ahead with positivity.
Throughout my life’s journey and especially in times of need, I have realized that it is only your core family that actually stands by you. It’s not that your friends and extended family is not there or doesn’t want to be there…it is just that it is not always possible for them to be there 24×7. Therefore, now my golden rule is - expect nothing from any one and be happy with your own company first. I have now learned to be in allowance, to be open to receive all the love and care coming my way and to be grateful for the ones who are there for me.
I thank my dad for teaching me how to be mentally strong. My brother for his unconditional love and support and my Mom who actually defines the word ‘Strength’ through her patience. If it wasn’t for her understanding and balancing dad, duggu and me (all strong headed individuals in our own way), we would not be the 4 strong pillars of the family that no one could shake nor break, even after going through thick and thin of life. But besides all of them the one thing that kept me going and gave me the strength to overcome it all was the love for my daughter Suranika. Thank you Suranika for making me experience motherhood.
Before I embark on my journey as a blog writer, I seek your blessings, good wishes, love and support that has always been extended to my family and me. I hope and wish that I can be of some relevant contribution to all who may possibly need an ear to listen, a push to speak and share, a nudge to look inside for the strength they seek outside and come out of unwanted situations in a more positive way.
Chapter One out on May 2nd 2018.